He has no shame. Molly Weasleys naked body can turn men to stone AND homosexuality. [15], Filch frequently patrolled the hallways at night-time, hunting down students wandering out of bed and looking for excuses to give them detentions. Filch first demanded they confess to having set off a Dungbomb in the Gryffindor common room, given their habit of trouble (which was in fact the work of Fred and George Weasley). Draco Malfoy, well aware of Filch's overly trust of Rosmerta, took advantage of it by sneaking in a cursed necklace and poisoned mead in an attempt to assassinate Professor Dumbledore.[75]. Centaurs are infamous within the Harry Potter fandom for possibly raping a Harry Potter villain off-screen. [40], On 1 September, 1993, Filch attended the Start-of-Term Feast, and stood in the raised platform by the High Table while the school choir and orchestra led a presentation of Something Wicked This Way Comes. Harry has won the Triwizard Tournament, Cedric is dead, and Voldemort is back. [71] When the students arrived after the attack on Katie Bell, who had touched a cursed necklace, Filch held his secrecy sensor aloft, but was dismissed by Minerva McGonagall who told him to take the necklace, wrapped in a scarf, to Severus Snape, the school's expert on Defence Against the Dark Arts. Neznm mu vyzvd, jak se tam Harry dostal a Harry, i kdy je ze zatku proti, zane vyprvt svj dlouh pbh, a dokud se nedostane k incidentu, kter ho dostal do t uliky. Fred and George test out a new line of products, and things get sexy. Please bear in mind that this list could hardly be comprehensive because there are so many fantastic pairings and stories to choose from, and feel free to share your own favorites in the comments. He's deserving of some enjoyment, isn't he? This work now includes mini series as well as oneshots. Click here to enter, or just click the image below. [78] By 1 September 1997, Severus Snape was made Headmaster of Hogwarts while his fellow Death Eaters, Alecto Carrow and Amycus Carrow became the Muggle Studies and Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers respectively, as well as Deputy Heads.[79]. If you ever wondered what it would be like if Hermione Granger was a lesbian, check outThe Exploits of Hermione Grangerby WhereTheBerriesBloom. [64] They did not leave instructions on how to remove the swamp and as such, Umbridge and Filch tried fruitlessly different means of removing it. Book 6, Brotherhood. [18] Although Filch was a Squib and could not make the map work properly,[18] he did know that it was called the Marauder's Map. [21], During the 19851986 school year, Filch allowed Jacob's sibling and Penny Haywood to have Fang and Jacob's sibling's cat approach Mrs Norris, so Fang overcome his fear of cats. [2], During the next years, Harry disliked Filch even more, especially when the caretaker took the side of Dolores Umbridge, during Harry's fifth year. ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. This is weird and awful and bad things happen in it. Hes bitter.Ron Weasley's explanation of Filch's grouchy personality, Very foul-tempered, cantankerous, and easily annoyed, Filch had an extremely unpleasant personality. Once there, Slughorn said that he had not issued him an invitation. Hiding, are you? The twins noticed a filing cabinet marked Confiscated and Highly Dangerous so, curious, they let off another Dungbomb in his office and "nicked" the Marauder's Map, which was stored inside that drawer, from him. He whimpered as he hardened even more. Despite working at a school, Filch deeply resented the students and was greatly disliked by them in return,[13] and some members of the staff, as well. The Second Wizarding War began. Filch, unaware of what was happening, came to Professor McGonagall shouting that students were out of bed. They attracted his attention by sticking a Blood Pop in Mrs Norris's fur. One of the fandoms favorite non-canon pairings is Dramione (Draco/Hermione). Now that we are all fed and watered I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. Under the Night Skyby BOMBARDMAXIMApairs Albus with his brother James. If you want more straightforward Remus/Sirius smut,Ten Minutesby KatScratches is the fic for you. DO NOT READ IF THE TAGS MAKE YOU SICK NOT A HAPPY STORY FOR HARRY! Harry Potter is such a beautiful, erotic boy, and Gilderoy will have him wrapped tightly around his finger in the time it takes you to say Boggart. Write as much as you can. But when Educational Decree Number Twenty-Nine comes in, Potter, I'll be allowed to do them things and she's asked the Minister to sign an order for the expulsion of Peeves oh, things are going to be very different around here with her in charge.Filch takes Harry Potter to Headmistress Dolores Umbridge, After Lord Voldemort's return, and as part of its campaign to discredit Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter, the Ministry of Magic instated Dolores Umbridge as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini/Theodor Nott/Draco Malfoy. Hermione looked up at Harry's face. When he got to the Owlery, he found Harry Potter (who had just sent a letter for Sirius Black) and Cho Chang (who was sending her mother a parcel for her birthday). Ron had to help Filch polish the silvers at the Trophy Room without using magic for his detention. [39] He learned that the one who petrified Mrs Norris was the memory of Tom Riddle, the one who controlled Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk. There will be many of both. An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works Community content is available under. He hummed creakily under his breath, under the prospect of the changes Umbridge had announced him. Disclaimer I don't own anything but my own ocs Add to library4.3kDiscussion 448Suggest tags Sigh, Teenagers 213 pages 6 months ago Selantro In 1992, after Mrs Norris was petrified by Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk, Filch was furious; however, his cat was healed by the end of the year. [13], Filch lived in a dingy and windowless office containing filing cabinets with detailed records of all the students Filch had disciplined. [59] Later that same month, after Gryffindor's abysmal performance in their Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, the Slytherin sang Weasley is Our King so loudly and frequently that Filch banned the song from the corridors out of sheer irritation.[60]. Its his sixth year at Hogwarts, and Harry Potter finds out all new benefits of being the Chosen One inHarrys Sex Yearby VenomBat22. After he opened a book that screamed, Filch arrived on the scene almost immediately but was unable to see Harry. He was born to at least one wizard parent sometime before 1951,[1] presumably somewhere in the British Isles. [2] Filch also had a difficulty in recognising potions, due to his lack of magical knowledge as he did not notice the love potions disguised as perfumes and cough potions by the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes,[70] nor did he notice the poisoned mead sent in by Madam Rosmerta (while under the Imperius Curse cast by Draco Malfoy), showing he was not particularly observant despite his obsessive personality. [33] They both very much liked to give students a hard time, unfair punishments, and cruel aspects of such punishments. Umbridge left Hogwarts the day before the end of term, having crept out during dinnertime in hope to depart undetected. On one occasion, he terrified a pair of first-year girls into hysterics. This belongs to a school champion! [46], That school year, the Triwizard Tournament took place at Hogwarts. Though clearly thinking that Professor McGonagall had gone insane, Filch complied. Once again, this story features the surprise star of M/M Harry Potter erotica, Percy Weasley. (And if you want your Potter clean, weve got a list of our favorite HPfanfiction for you.). After placating Filch, he told them he had not seen Jacob, but that he if he had, he would have loved to have sent him to the British Ministry of Magic in shackles. He also told him that someone had broken into his personal office. He hated it. [57], In the morning before the first school trip to Hogsmeade of the school year, Filch matched the names of those visiting the village to the long list of students who had permission from their parents or guardian to do so. [25], During the 19881989 school year, the Marauder's Map was stolen from his office by a thief that he suspected to be Peeves. Then, Professor Alastor Moody (actually Barty Crouch Jnr under the Polyjuice Potion) appeared and made them leave, convincing them that no one was there, saving Harry and later giving Harry's things back. Ships included in the order that they're tagged. Lily however loved Harry. tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10. He left Harry and ran to find Peeves, excited that he might finally be able to pursuade Dumbledore to kick Peeves out of Hogwarts. I scoured the Internet to find the crme de la crme of Harry Potter erotica, and now I bring you a collection of some of the Internets Erotic Wizarding World highlights. [31], Harry Potter and the Philosopher's StoneFilch tries to catch the trio and Neville Longbottom breaking rules, By 1991, Filch had Mrs Norris, his cat, following Rubeus Hagrid every time he went up into the Castle. [51], At the end of the year, champion Cedric Diggory was murdered, while everyone learned from Harry about Lord Voldemort's return. Sexetera, Ad Infinitumby nqdonne is the story for you then. [2] She had dust-coloured fur and yellow, lamp-like eyes. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Drowned Boy by cest_what adds Marcus Flint into the Percy/Oliver mix. Any necessary warnings will be at the top of each chapter, and a little summary will be there as well if you're reading this for the meagre plot included (There's no discernible reason you would be, it's smut) and don't want to read that particular chapter. Umbridge's Educational Decrees were abolished, as well as her Approval for Whipping, as Albus Dumbledore was reinstated as Headmaster, meaning that he never got the opportunity to inflict corporal punishment on the students. . Filch helped the students evacuate during the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 and participated in the battle himself. Years later, he's determined to make Harry more than a friend. Look at the tags, and bear in mind that this is smut through and through. [42], Later in the evening of that same day, Sirius Black broke into the Castle and tried to enter Gryffindor Tower; this resulted in the destruction of the Fat Lady's portrait. Harry used it that night to sneak into the Restricted Section and research about Nicolas Flamel, which he knew was related to the Philosopher's Stone. Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. One of the most popular male on male couples in the Harry Potter fandom are Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (WolfStar). You've been stealing! [62] Harry Potter helped Dean Thomas mess up the clock in the Clock Tower, Colin Creevey sent the Inquisitorial Squad several rude Howlers in chocolate boxes, and Parvati and Padma Patil poured Babbling Beverage into the school loudspeakers. Munga. If youre in it for the long haul, this particular fic is 61 chapters long. Ronald Weasley demanded to know what did it matter if the students were smuggling Dark objects out of the premises, and his cheek earned him a few jabs with the Sensor. On 14 February 1989, Filch attended the Valentine's Day Ball with Pince. Its a short and simple tale of two men getting ready together and getting a little distracted. Severus Snape agreed with Filch, not because he had the same opinion, but because he wanted Harry to be punished. [74] Slughorn seemed to have, however, put their differences aside when he tended to Filch's injuries during the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry Potter Fanfic Harry And Hermione. [14], During the 1970s, Filch did many write-ups of James Potter and Sirius Black, occasionally accompanied by the names of Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. [A non-magical AU. The strange gifts he has, and isn't going to question, should help in that regard. Arthur was never a violent man, but he was very expressive and his temper, when it was short, nobody wanted to be on the wrong side of. Mrs Norris, like her master, was infamously bad-tempered with anyone but Filch himself. [82] The battle recommenced shortly afterwards, and it all ended when Lord Voldemort was finally defeated and killed by Harry Potter in the Great Hall. Despite the fact that Filch never directly participated in the, Interestingly, Filch's love of medieval punishments would finally be achieved when the actor who played him in the films, David Bradley, would go on to play Lord Walder Frey in the famous. If you like a good threesome,A Nightly Strollby TigerLily8806 might be more your speed. Harry really did love him to allow him such an honor. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it.Albus Dumbledore starts his announcements over the Start-of-Term Feast, Before the start of the school term, Filch extended the list of forbidden objects within the school premises so that it included four hundred and thirty-seven items, including Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. [20], During this school year, Jacob's sibling tried to invite him to Hagrid's birthday party, which was pretty successful and he attended the party, although Professor McGonagall considered it a miracle if he agreed to celebrate anything whatsoever. [30], During this school year, he tasked Jacob's sibling with finding a missing Mrs Norris. During his tenure as Headmaster, Snape kept Filch working at Hogwarts despite his status as a Squib. [36] Ron spent the evening of 5 September, 1992 with Filch, and kept burping up slugs all over Tom Riddle's Special Award for Services to the School. [67] Filch brought her her luggage, as she was stopped by a mob of Daily Prophet reporters who took pictures of her escape. What is it? Harry asked with so much innocence in his voice that it practically made Lockhart drool. [14] Ron Weasley also suspected that Filch was always in such a foul mood due to his status as a Squib, and thus resented young wizards and witches as a result. Harry Potter once speculated that there was "something going on" romantically between Filch and Irma Pince, the equally ancient and irascible Hogwarts librarian. [72] He had a horrible, pouchy[51] and pasty face[14] and bulging, pale eyes,[7] along with sunken, veined cheeks. She jumped and hugged Harry, almost knocking him to the ground. So far anyone who had so much dared to glance at the dark forbidding space between the Weasley womans legs had been turned to stone. [14], Filch usually wore a brown coat,[45] although on special occasions he would wear a mouldy-looking tailcoat[45] or an ancient black suit and tie reeking of mothballs. Work Search: When Harry Potter reached Filch, the caretaker gave a great sniff as though to detect a whiff of Dungbombs.[58]. Harry starts a new path for his life in the summer after second year. Filch almost caught Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, but they successfully managed to hide in the Forbidden Corridor as Peeves refused to share any information with Filch. Argus Filch was a Squib and the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since around 1973. EvenTom Feltonhas said that Drapple is his one of his favorite Harry Potter fan pairings. This is a Triwizard clue! The cat was found petrified under a message written on the wall saying that "THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. [52], Yerse I've been telling Dumbledore for years and years he's too soft with you all. Frustrated, McGonagall sent him to do something constructive and find Peeves, for the Poltergeist would be helpful against the Death Eaters. A darker Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley get together shortly after Voldemort's return. Harry Potter and the Last Horcrux by Mike. On 7 September, Filch got a tip-off that Harry Potter was sending in a massive order of Dungbombs. Every Tuesday, hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman read a new chapter of Harry Potter erotic fanfiction. He brought the Professor to the corridor where he found the ice. AU. [32], On their very first morning at Hogwarts, 2 September, 1991, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley managed to get on Filch's wrong side. It is unknown what was made of Filch, or even if he was mistreated by the Carrows simply for being a Squib. As Snape discussed with Filch, he wanted to take those objects in order to find who they belonged to (suspecting that they were Harry's). Ask Question Asked 4 years ago. Harry Potter and The Last Horcrux is not like most HP fanfiction. However, Dumbledore managed to convince Filch that Harry was not responsible, as he could not have performed such Dark magic, being twelve years old at the time. Handsby iamisaac is erotic fiction starring Albus and Teddy Lupin. Dont forget to leave a comment about your favorite Harry Potter pairing or erotic fanfic. When he realised that Jacob was their brother, he told them he should punish them while he still had the chance, given their brother's bad reputation. [42] Filch helped secure the Castle on Professor Dumbledore's instruction, lowering the portcullis and bolting the front doors of the Clock Tower. Thus, the caretaker started to support Umbridge and follow her orders. In an excuse to escape punishment, Draco told Filch he had been invited to Professor Slughorn's party, and Filch dragged him by the ear to Slughorn's office to see if his claim was true. They were saved by Quirinus Quirrell, who vouched for them while passing by. Filch tried to frighten them, by telling that many dangerous creatures lived there. Well, he thinks so, and he intends to act on it. He was different like the so few Wizards who has female body parts. Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by cloneserpents - In this beloved erotic comedy with over 1,000 reviews, Harry leads his friends on a Horcrux hunt after reading a magical book that gives him special powers. With so many compelling characters in the Potterverse, its no surprise that non-canon erotica makes up the majority of the erotic Harry Potter fanfic out there. Varying Nature by Bunnyhops tells the tale of a threesome between Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, the lesbian Golden Trio. We Go Way Back: 25 of the Best Historical Fiction Books of the Past 10 Years, The Bestselling Books of the Week, According to All the Lists, New Releases Tuesday: The Best Books Out This Week, 11 of the Best Shnen Manga to Read in 2023. That's what fanfiction is about. [6] He had long hair with a bald spot on the top of his head and quivery jowls. [35] Filch was obsessed with keeping the Castle neat and tidy, and was infuriated when students made a mess with potion ingredients, or forgot to wipe their feet. In a world where Vernon decided to get the freak out of his house as long as possible before he starts training his magical powers, the man sells Harry to his boss for the next five years when Harry was five. [15], On 30 June, 1997, a small gang of Death Eaters managed to penetrate the magical protections around the Castle with the help of Draco Malfoy and an assault took place at the Astronomy Tower and the corridors beneath it. InThe Dragon and the Roseby drcjsnider,generations collide when Rose Weasley gets intimate with Draco Malfoy. Harry sank into one of the trick steps and got stuck in it, making his golden egg break open and wail. [7], After Harry Potter and Hermione Granger had carried Norbert to the Astronomy Tower, so that Charles Weasley's colleagues could take the dragon to Romania, Filch caught the pair roaming the Astronomy Corridor on their way back to Gryffindor Tower in the early hours of 10 May, 1992. PEEVES! Hagrid vouched for them, but Filch rudely undermined Hagrid's authority as a teacher, with Hagrid insulting Filch for being a Squib in retaliation. She moved over and greeted Harry with a hug and a kiss which caused Hermione to flinch. [29], During the 19901991 school year, Filch was tricked into giving Madam Pince Hiccough Sweets, causing her to leave the library's Restricted Section unattended. Argus Filch seemed so interested in punishing rebellious students in the old manners. Inanimate objects get involved inFirst Encounterby Lyris Malachi. Charlus was a fearless leader of the United Kingdom, and an unforgiving and ruthless person all around. In the night of 21 January, 1995, Filch almost caught Harry Potter while he was on his way back to Gryffindor Tower after having been in the Prefects' bathroom trying to solve the golden egg riddle for the Triwizard Tournament. Secrets has BEEN opened non-canon pairings is Dramione ( Draco/Hermione ) a lesbian, check Exploits. Bad things happen in it for the long haul, this story features the surprise star of Harry. Between Hermione, Ginny, and an unforgiving and ruthless person all around what was made of,... 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