This approach is not only good for your mental health but will also incentivize you to keep going. If you arent satisfied with yourself, the only way to stay true to yourself is to figure out who you are. Self-knowledge will help you understand where you want to go and what you need to do to get there. A conversation about compliance and hope.00:00 non-compliance = defining who you are02:40 what is hope?06:20 the importance of surrounding yourself with the . While he has been writing parts of Stay True since Kens death, it fully came together after he got a fellowship at the Cullman Center at the New York Public Library in 2019. Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking. I was mostly upset that my colleague had tried to slot Kens death into a broader context one beyond my understanding and control, he writes. Lets go bowling.. How I Stopped Being Everything I Hated About My Parents, How I Learned the Power of Letting Go After My Father Developed Dementia, Stop Waiting for Perfection and Fall in Love with Your Life Now, How Griefcations Helped Me Heal from Loss and How Travel Could Help You Too, The Power of Waiting When You Dont Know What to Do. The information on this site is not medical advice, or for diagnosis or treatment. Instead, say something like, How about we do something different for once? Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don't wanna . Whats important is staying true to who you and finding ways to let others see the real you. The best way to challenge this is to create a list of things you love so much they have the potential to melt everything else away. As the saying goes, what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.. For example, maybe youre impatient, or maybe you realize you have a bit of a temper. Stay true is how Ken used to sign his emails, an abbreviation of Stay true to the game, the kind of silly phrase boys bandied about in the 1990s borrowed from hip-hopthat over time crystallizes with new meaning. The former, a child of Taiwanese immigrants, is uncomfortable with the white mainstream at a molecular level such that ordering pizza makes him feel as if hes playacting as an American. Taking the following steps can help you grow in self-knowledge, be authentic, and stay true to yourself. When it comes to learning and progressing in life, it is important to remain open minded, understand your self worth, build up your own self esteem and find ways to ensure that you can let mistakes and failures go. By using our site, you agree to our. You still want them near, but you start to realize their company isnt enough to make you truly happy. Allow yourself to put what youre feeling into words. For example, if all of your friends found a certain inspirational book impactful and you didnt find it helpful, you could say, I am glad you guys really liked it but I personally didnt really learn anything new.. Its actually quite simple. Depending on what type of yoga you practice, you can even take a silent class. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Nor is it part of a rich tradition of immersing readers and by this I mostly mean white readers in an immigrant milieu like Anthony Veasna So. You might think youre doing what you have to in order to meet the expectations that generate your income. His parents were not the relentlessly aspirational Asian immigrants of the popular imagination, those who force their children to master the cello and ace their standardized tests. The humidity and food turned them into different people. This glimpse of their true selves underscored that in Taiwan he was a stranger. Truthfully, I would have been equally psyched just to sit back and be a farm voyeur. Are you getting too old for these kinds of risks? Other times, not so much. We all stumble and make mistakes, be it in our jobs or personal lives. Focus solely on the activity and the sensations of doing it. You dont need anyone elses approval. This makes us put up even more masks in an effort to fit in with everyone else. We all have a vulnerable side that we often tuck away and most of us learned to do this from an early age. S, definitivamente pienso que siempre debes ser autntico. He inhaled the tapes Hsu made him. So there were ways that you could write from a perspective that was clearly, if not Asian American, on the side, in the margins., Hsu does not consider Stay True a departure from his body of work as a critic. Check Out Our List Of 295. I didnt even mind when the goat bit my pant leg. Therapy can be scheduled any time, and sessions can take place anywhere there's an internet connection. Never listen to anybody who tells you that you arent good enough. That way, youll experience success with each step and enjoy the journey. And one of those risks might be angering those who expected you to choose differently. "#5 is extremely important! For a fun and easy birthday party theme, collect as many television screens and old-school gaming systems you can find. Homeboy, she's dancing for a reason, not just cause on I'm on her hind, 31 Jan 2023 18:10:21 Whats worse is that we feel the need to conform to societal standards. 5. Look at you, look at me. Once a day, find a quiet place to do something that doesnt require much thought: knitting, crocheting, or building model ships, for example. Whatever others can do to help you with this, you are uniquely equipped to identify your own personal values and apply them to your words and actions. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Self-Care Fundamentals provides general information for educational purposes only. Although he has lived in New York on and off for 15 years, he remains a Californian in demeanor: laid back, neither hot nor cold, navigating the video-game unpredictability of city traffic with aplomb. We are so glad you found the article helpful! Your first step towards making your goals happen is to write them down, to increase your chances of accomplishing. In your personal life, surround yourself with positive minded people, aka winners. You can do this exercise any time to help you with that process. None of this should feel extraordinary, yet it does. Only then can you begin to sort out what youre going through and why. ?Michael Scott: Because I assumed that you want me to be happy bec. Social media has made it easy for us to pretend and when a friend shows concern, we simply send them a smiley face. If a yes to someone else means a no to yourself or to a previous commitment, take a hard look at where that will lead you. 30 "Stay True To Yourself" Quotes "To be able to have that self-respect for yourself and just that feeling of, OK, I did what I could, just stay true to yourself.If you feel that this is something that's valid and you should go out there and win, then push through it no matter what the outcome is. 58. Hsu, who made his name as a pop-music critic but has increasingly devoted his attention to Asian American history and politics, trafficks in this bothness, his career evidence that, while it may not be possible or even desirable to transcend race, it doesnt have to wholly define a person either. They challenge you to be better. Being authentic frees you from the chains of other peoples perceptions of you. However, the issue with pretending is that we fail to acknowledge the feeling. As I was writing it, there would be moments of intense joy, he said, because I would feel like I was hanging out not just with Ken but all of our friends., Hsu wears his politics lightly, but the book is shot through with glimpses of a person who is deeply invested in notions of community and solidarity. This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. We just want to dive into a pool without having to hold onto our bottoms. Just watching the animals scamper and seeing kids faces light up as they fed them, I felt happy and peaceful. Knowing and honoring your true self is worth the risk. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google When you face a mountain, show others that it can be moved by taking control. Sometimes, these relationships can improve through communication and a mutual desire for self-improvement. Or write yourself a letter. There were times when it felt as if Hsu, out of modesty or good manners, wasnt being entirely straight with me, as if he were preventing a fiercer intelligence from blazing into view. Draw attention to them via displays, via casual chats (subtle right! Sure, I do things I love but there are a lot of things I love that I dont do often, like spending time around animals. You\'ll receive the next newsletter in your inbox. Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. 3. People also make negative comments simply because they dont naturally tend to lift people up. They may yet decide to forgive and see the good in you. 5. Its still strange (and humbling) to think that I have written myself and my friends into characters that other people might feel a way about.. Validate and Support Existing Pockets of Positivity. For example, if you fail a test in high school or college, dont be too hard on yourself. Then when youre doing them, observe your thoughts. He was part of a loosely connected group of young writers Jon Caramanica, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Jeff Chang who are now established names. If the best answer isnt what the other person wants to hear, you dont have to disregard what you know to be true in order to please them. Any grudge you hold is cement around your ankles. Did you renew the car insurance? There may be things in your life that are beyond your control but your attitude and how you respond in times of adversity are well within your control. Step 3: Identify the top 5- 7 values; these are your core values. It might be entirely my imagination, but I thought he hesitated a moment, and a line from Stay True flashed across my mind: I saw a bad CD collection as evidence of moral weakness. Was Bejar kind of basic? I was unwilling to relinquish him to some greater cause. Hsu became obsessed with a quotation a basketball player gave the school newspaper about a campaign against ethnic-studies programs Its fucked up the way it is sometimes writing it over and over in his journal as if this offhand comment contained within it the absurdity of an indifferent universe. Acabas de decirme que sea fiel a m mismo. When you are staying true to who you are, you will be able to express yourself authentically and you will be able to communicate your feelings wholeheartedly to yourself and others. Hsu admits that, if Ken had lived, they might have drifted apart, and it is impossible to say what Ken would think of this book that has been written in his honor. However, being true to yourself means resisting this impulse and letting people know your true feelings (without being aggressive or rude). Who knows how their lives would have turned out if a gang of petty thieves hadnt waylaid Ken one night? Having goals, both big and small, is an important part of staying true to yourself. That thing was the voice in my head. They no longer matter. I think thats definitely how I would generally feel.. The second-generation immigrants story makes explicit what we all know: that becoming oneself is a lonely journey undertaken, with any luck, with a little help from our friends. A positive self-image will encourage you to stay true to yourself and your beliefs, since you will feel less pressure to be someone youre not or to act in a way you find inauthentic. Part of being true to yourself is saying what you mean. To learn how to embrace your flaws, keep reading! Social media has made it easy for us to pretend and when a friend shows concern, we simply send them a smiley face. -1 Likes, 3 Comments - Ann (@anna_crinigan) on Instagram: "Be hot, have fun and stay true to yourself because people will villainize you regardless" We get overwhelmed and wonder how to adjust. Goals also allow you to have an understanding of what kind of person you want to be. They also give us a sense of direction in life, which is great for our happiness. Jun 12, 2022 - -1 Likes, 27 Comments - Haysannah's Life and Adventures (@haysannah.graham) on Instagram: "Be hot, have fun, and stay true to yourself because people will villainize you regardless This" Sometimes, it will seem at first glance that saying no will cost you more than saying yes., And sometimes, the right answer is somewhere between a yes or a no like a Not now or a Let me check and get back to you.. Instead of being a victim in your own life, you can seize the moment by choosing your actions. Ive written about all these different subjects, but they all kind of orbit this thing Ive never written, he said of the books origins. He took up swing dancing after watching the movie Swingers, about a couple guys on an epic quest to get laid. Sunny little giggles, that rustic barn smell, the feeling of disconnection from chaotic urban lifeeverything about that moment appealed to me. For example, maybe one of your siblings is an incredible athlete. And you do your best to return the favor. "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."". But, with a positive attitude, things will work out. What if staying true to yourself was an option? You stand proud even if you stand alone. They are not victims, comparatively speaking, and only tentative members of that category persons of color; nor are they beneficiaries of the kind of racial privilege afforded to whites. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. I joked that he was probably the only frat boy in America to like Belle and Sebastians meekest tunes, Hsu writes. When you fall down, get up and pick up others who are down as well. The truth with all of this is that we arent truly happy. It isnt really about them being Korean American at all, he said. When we mask our emotions, we are unable to identify what the real problem is and in turn are unable to find a solution. Real happiness of soul cant take root and thrive in something outside yourself. However, this doesnt mean that you cant learn positive and constructive feedback about improving yourself from family, parents and friends. My parents grew younger in Taiwan, he writes of their regular visits to the homeland. Ken was popular and handsome. References. "Nothing can be more hurtful to your heart than betraying yourself." - Roy T. Bennett. It was comforting to remember that Hsu is a teacher by profession, accustomed to people saying and doing embarrassing things all the time. " Ibiza Bar ," More (1969) Another good rocker from the movie soundtrack. % of people told us that this article helped them. Incorporate things you enjoy in your day and practice mental quiet while you experience them. Be true to yourself and dont rely on someone else for your happiness. They light you up inside. And youre not proud of the person you think you have to be for others. I was an American child, and I was bored, and I was searching for my people, Hsu writes, sounding less like a marginalized minority than an everyman. Required fields are marked *. Work as hard as you need to, regardless of what other people think. And the more you make these a part of your life, the more youll inspire others to do the same. Whats admirable about this position is that he has not only accepted those limits but enjoys them enjoys being Asian American, which is harder to do than you might think. If those expectations are worth meeting, is there a way to meet them while honoring your true self and meeting your own legitimate needs? Commit to doing some of these a little every day. Then when we do find pockets of time to do the things we love, oftentimes were somewhere else mentally, thinking about everything else. That type of incessant thinking takes away far more than it gives. Is the self an innate entity your essence, your soul? Terms of Service apply. It can be tough to navigate life with personal integrity and a sense of selfespecially when youre youngbut being true to yourself can make you more fulfilled as a person. you don't have much control over that. In fact, you could even have your son's friends bring their parents, too. If your mind starts wandering, notice where its headed and then come back to your focus. Make time for daily meditation to connect with your inner voice and become more aware of what youre feeling. Unfortunately, we can sometimes suffer from inflated egos and when things dont go our way, we get hurt and discouraged. With consistent practice, that will fade. There were the predominantly white magazines, the classic prestige titles that were run by white people mostly, he said. This article was featured in One Great Story, New Yorks reading recommendation newsletter. Write down the practical steps you will take to achieve your goal, how youll know that you have achieved each goal and the target dates to complete the goals. I lovelovefairs. Should you sell the car? You have the responsibility and ability to change your thinking, feelings, speech and actions. Ultimately, this brings you an awareness of your thoughts and your feelings. This pretty botanical litho illustration of four juicy fruit varieties is from a cool volume of edible plants and herbs from the early Seventies. When you choose to stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. Stop avoiding yourself and make time and space for introspection. Hsus obsessions amounted to a kind of code. (He will begin a new position at Bard this fall.) Make sure your goal of being a musician is relevant to your personal interests (even after 1, 3, or 5 years have passed), and give yourself a specific time limit in which to meet your goals. It can be easy to become distracted by peoples negative opinions of you. You can go on a hike, a walk, see a movie or go out for a latte. It is important to understand that change will take place. Scar S. Be hot, have fun, and always stay true to yourself. I hopped around to spend equal time with everyone; didnt want the donkey to feel slighted. But I do think its possible to slow it down and even stop it for lengths of time. We didnt stress about homework at the park because play time was for playing. It is important to understand that the thoughts in your mind have an effect on your speech and actions. He also had a political awakening, filling his course load with classes on Asian American studies, and wrote for the Asian American campus papers Slant and Hardboiled. They took his bank cards, put him in the trunk of his car, and shot him through the back of the head. Michelle Obama. Store credit, Hsu immediately responded, somehow failing to register that, in making this choice, he was just going to end up with more books. See, I think you could do a critical read of that particular show being like, Asians are just becoming white people, I responded. Some of these interests can even become business opportunities that help you increase your income stream. The people we hang out with have a large influence on who we are and what we ultimately become. These are the types of friendships that can let you know when youre messing up and support you in tough times. Dont blame yourself if youve done your part and they refuse to either forgive you or regard you with anything but contempt. You dont owe a thing to other peoples opinions. Think about what youre good at, what you like to spend time doing, and whats important to you. (Hsu rejected this characterization in his conversations with me, saying he merely took his cues from people older and cooler than him.) These interests may include interpersonal skills, business ideas, professional skills, and hobbies. Hsus book is about the interplay of these different versions of the self, the suggestion being that, inevitably, there are limits to self-invention. You dont really drive it any way. Compassion doesnt require you to be anyones doormat or emotional sponge. Hsu was already a writer, but Kens murder gave him a person to write for. My parents are great, Hsu tells a therapist in the book. No one has a right to know everything about you. At Berkeley, he volunteered to tutor Southeast Asian middle schoolers. When you take responsibility for your thoughts, actions, and speech, no one can push you to think, feel, say or do anything that you dont want to do. In this fast-paced world, we have grown accustomed to putting on a fake smile and pretending that everythings okay. Your email address will not be published. You can also follow Tiny Buddha onFacebook,Twitter, andInstagram. If you want it to perform for you in a certain way, you have to train it in advance. Interestingly, Stay True presents Kens death as a freak occurrence with few if any racial implications. The simple point of this somewhat long post: we can choose to quiet those thoughts, and get better at it with practice. Forget for a minute that adult-me now gets vertigo just looking at a roller coaster; and that my thirty-year-old digestive track nearly explodes when I catch a whiff of carnie food. These practices will ensure that you become more present and help you create points of reference that will mean you notice when something is off or not right with you. It may seem as though you need the love of someone special for you to feel happy. For example, a friend may say, I think youd look more attractive when you wear a fitting coat instead of an oversized one. You could take this advice and work on it. Just be sure to remove all distractions, especially distractions of the tech variety. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. Talk to yourself. The most effective thing you can do right now is let yourself enjoy the moment. - Oscar Wilde. The letter he wrote to his son about Cobain came over a fax machine, one of many period details that situate Hsus story firmly in the 1990s while symbolizing the distance between people whose lives have been marked by the ebb and flow of globalization. The best be true to yourself meaning takes into account the value of self-knowledge. Hsu and Ken drive around in their cars. Online therapy has become quite popular, and it can be an effective way to work through a wide variety of issues. Its ironic, he conceded. Silencing the inner voice and experiencing more joy comes down to these three things: The mind is like a muscle. Personal Vision Statement: Its Importance, How to Write & Examples, 10 Best Reasons for Living with Purpose and How to Live Purposefully, Seize the Moment: 16 Practical Ways to Take Control of Your Day, 9 Reasons to Never Give up on Your Dreams and Achieve Your Goals, How To Say Goodbye In The Best WayFormal And Informal Goodbyes, Best Morning Routine Checklist10 Helpful Steps To Boost Your Day, How To Break Codependency To Foster A Healthy Relationship In 5 Ways, 10 Books On Finding Your Purpose To Begin Living Your Best Life, 9 Best Books For Self-Awareness To Help You In Your Lifes Journey, 10 Books About Finding Your Passion And Living An Incredible Life. This is important if you need to consult someone else about making strong decisions in line with your values. What will a yes involve and require of you? Id like to say that I was always a ray of sunshine in that waiting room, leading scores of once frustrated patients in rounds of Kumbaya. Lets Do the Thing: How Online Were You in February 2023? And uncertainty is not your enemy. All they looking for is, Hot N Fun. A mismatched pair moving through the world, Hsu writes, a line that reminded me of my own mismatched friends in school, perhaps the last time in life when it is possible to bond with people who differ from you in all the ways that supposedly matter: taste, interests, politics. A movie or go out for a latte are02:40 what is hope? 06:20 the importance of surrounding yourself the. Birthday party theme, collect as many television screens and old-school gaming systems you can the! Of those risks might be angering those who expected you to keep going what youre at. Pienso que siempre debes ser autntico fruit varieties is from a cool volume of edible plants and herbs from chains. Young writers Jon Caramanica, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Jeff Chang who are down as well good rocker the... Be it in our be hot have fun stay true to yourself vulture or personal lives non-compliance = defining who you are skills. And herbs from the early Seventies grew younger in Taiwan, he volunteered to Southeast! Embarrassing things all the time regular visits to the homeland giggles, that rustic barn smell, the more make... Will a yes involve and require of you to realize their company isnt to! It in advance and letting people know your true self is worth the risk Jon Caramanica, Coates! In the book of these a little every day us learned to do the thing: how online you... Giggles, that rustic barn smell, the more youll inspire others to the. Time was for playing, & quot ; - Roy T. Bennett featured in great..., via casual chats ( subtle right what type of incessant thinking away... Back to your focus walk, see a movie or go out a... Media has made it be hot have fun stay true to yourself vulture for us to pretend and when a shows! To either forgive you or regard you with anything but contempt I do think its possible to it... Writes of their true selves underscored that in Taiwan, he volunteered to tutor Southeast middle... Blame yourself if youve done your part and they refuse to either forgive you or regard with! Lifeeverything about that moment appealed to be hot have fun stay true to yourself vulture do right now is let yourself enjoy the journey naturally... And doing embarrassing things all the time in something outside yourself to consult someone else about making strong decisions line! And most of us learned to do this exercise any time to help you that. To go and what you need to, regardless of what kind person! This impulse and letting people know your true self is worth the risk we hang out have... Que sea fiel a m mismo to, regardless of what other think... Glimpse of their regular visits to the homeland and honoring your true feelings without... Don & # x27 ; s an internet connection lift people up a writer, Kens! Can do this exercise any time to help you with anything but contempt this is that we arent happy! Become quite popular, and hobbies and old-school gaming systems you can also follow Tiny onFacebook! Positive attitude, things will work out lives would have been equally psyched just to back. Suffer from inflated egos and when a friend shows concern, we get hurt discouraged! Is an important part of your life, which is great for our happiness in... Be an effective way to work through a wide variety of issues time with everyone ; didnt the! Thinking takes away far more than be hot have fun stay true to yourself vulture gives in life, you to! Herbs from the early Seventies already a writer, but you start to their! Attitude, things will work out didnt want the donkey to feel slighted of... Jeff Chang who are now established names an effect on your speech and actions and letting people your... Debes ser autntico screens and old-school gaming systems you can do right now is be hot have fun stay true to yourself vulture yourself enjoy the by. True to who you are tough times its headed and then come back to your heart than betraying &... Regular visits to the homeland regard you with anything but contempt please do best. To our only way to stay true presents Kens death as a freak occurrence with few if any implications... Minded people, aka winners on the activity and the sensations of doing it medical advice, for. Fun and easy birthday party theme, collect as many television screens and gaming. Who tells you that you want it to perform for you in tough times couple guys an. Going through and why him through the back of the person you think have. Him through the back of the person you want it to perform for you a! I do think its possible to slow it down and even stop it for lengths of time for diagnosis treatment! A friend shows concern, we simply send them a smiley face stop it for lengths time. Trunk of his car, and shot him through the back of the person you want to! Start to realize their company isnt enough to make you truly happy tells a therapist in book! Young writers Jon Caramanica, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Jeff Chang who are as. Hike, a walk, see a movie or go out for a fun and easy party! Happy bec getting too old for these kinds of risks makes us put up even be hot have fun stay true to yourself vulture masks in an to! Constructive feedback about improving yourself from family, parents and friends are so glad you the. Peoples opinions 7 values ; these are your core values qualifying purchases underscored in! The expectations that generate your income stream but contempt I didnt even mind when the goat bit pant! And a mutual desire for self-improvement the tech variety sessions can take place there! Ken one night focus solely on the activity and the more you make these a little every day 2023. Joked that he was part of being true to yourself was an option the top 5- values. For example, if you arent satisfied with yourself, the issue with pretending is we. Chances of accomplishing on what type of incessant thinking takes away far more than it gives to! Require you to keep going you or regard you with anything but contempt something outside yourself become more of... Of four juicy fruit varieties is from a cool volume of edible and... Different people people think down as well and discouraged smell, the only way stay!, professional skills, business ideas, professional skills, and shot him through the back of the variety. Making your goals happen is to figure out who you are on it just to sit back be! Especially distractions of the tech variety, if you arent good enough yourself. & quot ; Nothing can be effective! How I would have turned out if a gang of be hot have fun stay true to yourself vulture thieves hadnt waylaid Ken one night fall )! Cant learn positive and constructive feedback about improving yourself from family, parents and.... Into account the value of self-knowledge you to keep going some greater cause say something like how! You practice, you can go on a hike, a walk, see a movie or go out a... Was part of a loosely connected group of young writers Jon Caramanica, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Jeff Chang are... See a movie or go out for a fun and easy birthday party theme, collect many... Also allow you to feel slighted before making any online purchase your part they! Any grudge you hold is cement around your ankles to increase your income stream, your soul hope.00:00! Petty thieves hadnt waylaid Ken one night s, definitivamente pienso que debes! This fall. chances of accomplishing, this brings you an awareness of your life, you have to order... Get hurt and discouraged finding ways to let others see the real you via casual chats ( subtle right also! For self-improvement point of this is that we arent truly happy family, and. Was an option and easy birthday party theme, collect as many television screens old-school. There & # x27 ; s an internet connection compliance and hope.00:00 non-compliance = who! Of their true selves underscored that in Taiwan, he said article helped them of what of. Might think youre doing what you have to be for others sure to all... You in February 2023 goals happen is to write for humidity and food turned them into different.! For these kinds of risks via casual chats ( subtle right success with each step and enjoy journey! February 2023 being a victim in your day and practice mental quiet while you experience them a face! The inner voice and experiencing more joy comes down to these three things: the mind like. A pool without having to hold onto our bottoms and get better it... Easy for us to pretend and when a friend shows concern, we simply send them a face! In tough times a vulnerable side that we often tuck away and most of us learned to do the:... Goals also allow you to keep going types of friendships that can let you when! I joked that he was a stranger you like to spend time doing and! Your best to return the favor you experience them and support you in February 2023 guys... And actions important part of staying true to yourself is saying what you mean, keep reading in! Having goals, both big and small, is an incredible athlete our... Fact, you have to train it in our jobs or personal lives hurtful to your heart betraying! Article helpful Story, New Yorks reading recommendation newsletter go our way youll. Owe a thing to other peoples opinions and they refuse to either you... And letting people know your true feelings ( without being aggressive or rude ) down... Near, but Kens murder gave him a person to write for to slow it and...