I am lucky to have played a role in sharing the Mathis family's story with the world. Her classmates and teachers used female pronouns to refer to her, and she used the girls' bathrooms. By age 2, she refused to leave the house dressed as a boy . When am I going to get my girl parts? he asked softly. But we were really sending the opposite message: Its not safe, but well give you a place to hide. They were ready for a new approach. Coy Mathis, who was born male but has identified as female since the age of four, was barred from using the girls' restroom at Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain, Colorado in December. She was able to use the girls' bathroom freely until the first grade when the principal informed the parents that moving forward, Coy would only be able to use the boys bathroom or the nurse's bathroom. Their message is not simple or straightforward, but contemplative and admirably honest.[9]. Mathis recorded a brilliant version of the tune for his Open Fire, Two Guitars masterpiece in 1959. When, in 2008, a proposal had passed in the Colorado legislature to expand the states anti-discrimination law to protect people based on sexual orientation, including trans people, Focus on the Family had lobbied for its veto, warning that the law would expose women and children to dangerous perverts who would now freely lurk in public restrooms. She didn't grab our attention with memorable catchphrases, or comical accents. That is, until last . [3] The film premiered in 2016 at the Human Rights Watch Film Festival[1] and won "Best Documentary" awards at the Raindance Film Festival[4] and BendFilm Festival. Coy Mathis, naci como nio; sin embargo se ha comportado como una nia desde que tena 18 meses de edad. He didnt want to play, or talk. Well, I figured, Jeremys father had remarked dryly, cause hes wearing a dress in all the pictures on Facebook.. She said she's known she was a girl since about age 7 or 8. . It also struck them that, by allowing Coy to be a girl at home and forcing him to be a boy at school, they had effectively helped their child to carve out a closeted double life. It was just what it was, Mr. Mathis said in the film. It was about the larger message Coy would be forced to internalize every time she had to relieve herself: that she was abnormal, that there was something so grotesque or unsafe about her that her very presence in a place as delicate as a bathroom was intolerable. In the meantime, clinicians refer to the standards of care set by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, which advocates the cautious but loving approach that Coys pediatrician suggested, known as wait and see. The Mathises were told to hold off on decision-making and to simply express support for Coy and his choices, follow his lead and see where it might take them. This is the work I'm most proud of. And it's been a long time since one of those stories has touched me as much as the story of Kathryn and Jeremy Mathis and their five kids, including 6-year-old transgender girl Coy. Step two is also the point at which theres no turning back, since once a childs voice drops, or theres significant breast development, those changes will remain even if they come off the drugs. 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The American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics have rejected the forced-conformity approach for gender-dysphoric patients, saying that not only are such efforts doomed to fail but that, says the American Psychoanalytic Association, they often result in substantial psychological pain.. This story is from the November 7th, 2013 issue of Rolling Stone. By Sabrina Rubin Erdely. He is from . The motivating factor was, how can we create the conditions where we can win for Coy? Mr. Silverman said in an interview. All we ever wanted was for Coys school to treat her the same as other little girls, says Kathryn. More >> Read the Global Youth Statement here. Although 623 American colleges and universities have already adopted nondiscrimination policies to cover gender expression, high schools and middle schools are being forced to grapple with the question of how to deal with trans students in their locker rooms, athletic fields and bathrooms. Its got to be painful to reject your own masculinity. Coy Mathis. The school psychologist was just giddy. As a result, Coys transition had gone so smoothly that by the end of kindergarten and into first grade, she was thriving: happy, succeeding in school and coming home with her backpack full of birthday-party invitations. Sunday evening, his live rendition . April 4, 2021. Coy understood. After all, one of the towns chief exports was the vociferous opposition to any laws favoring gay or transgender rights. In the course of the documentary, the Mathises moved from Fountain, Colo., a small town near the headquarters of the conservative organization Focus on the Family, to Aurora, Colo., and have since moved elsewhere in the state. "At 18 months of age Coy gravitated to girl things and very much disliked boy . This past winter, educators in Massachusetts, Maine and Portland, Oregon, issued guidelines to accommodate trans students, allowing them to use bathrooms and play on sports teams corresponding to the gender with which they identify. The national headlines have inspired debate over whether this is a laudable move to recognize the needs of trans kids or a wrongheaded manifestation of overindulgent parenting. All Rights reserved. If early social transition is about following a gender-fluid childs lead into a possibly temporary experiment, then medical intervention is the point at which parents take charge and decide their childs permanent outcome. After all, what does a child really know about authentic identity, or about whats best for them? Transgender Girl Crowned Homecoming Princess In Colorado Springs . Coys chin began to quiver. Though shes sure some of her family objects to Coys living as a girl, they know better than to articulate their disapproval because, says Kathryn, if they were to be outspoken about their problems with Coy, they would be cut off. Perhaps with that in mind, both Kathryns and Jeremys families responded quite well upon being told that Coy would be raised as a girl. A former Marine who was attending college in Colorado Springs, Colorado, Jeremy agreed with his wife that Coys fascination with all things sparkly, ruffly and pink was the harmless play of a toddler whose mind was yet untouched by social constructs of masculine and feminine. Coy was one of four siblings a triplet with a same-age sister and brother, plus an older sister and so was surrounded by both girl and boy toys, inside their cramped split-level house, where the living room was covered by a patina of puzzle pieces and stray Legos. She just wants to be., Growing Up Coy Explores the Fallout After a Family Fought for Its Transgender Child, https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/07/movies/growing-up-coy-transgender-documentary.html. Their household was already bursting with complications. And Coy wouldnt be the only one digesting that attitude; so, too, would her peers. His father is Arturo Coy who was a Marine from Falfurrias, Texas. In his newsletters for Focus, Johnston treats trans people in particular with amused pity. Mathis and her husband have been reading books and canvassing transgender children and adults, asking them how their experience could have been improved in an . Right after I . Their marriage did not survive, and the two parted ways three years after Coy was born. The wait and see approach had made sense in theory. Days after the Mathis family returned home from the convention, in June, they discovered that the Colorado Civil Rights Division had rendered a verdict on their discrimination complaint against Coys school. They let him wear whatever frilly thing he wanted, gave him a Barbie, honored his wish to paint his bedroom pink and, although they continued calling him he, Coy seemed satisfied. Jeremy, Kathryn, Coy and the entire Mathis family have such strength and so much love for each other, it's impossible for anyone whose heart isn't two sizes too small to hear their story and not be inspired. Her parents have been cheered by the way Coy has flourished into such a happy little girl it feels like a signal that theyre heading in the right direction. Coy Mathis a 6 ans. And so it was that, in December 2011, Coy showed up for kindergarten in a rainbow dress and pink leggings, chin-length blond hair held back with barrettes, and a baby-toothed smile no longer a he but a she.. Trump Melts Down Over Murdoch Admitting Fox Lied About Election Fraud La Division des droits civils de l'tat du Colorado vient de se prononcer contre cette dcision, jugeant qu'il s'agit d'une discrimination. Cara Buckley of The New York Times wrote that the film could not be timelier, with transgender issues at the fore. After some soul-searching discussions, Mr. Silverman said, the family agreed that the best action was to take the case public. The parents of Coy Mathis have filed a charge of discrimination with the Colorado Division of Civil Rights. . So he one a court case allowing him to use the girl's bathroom and girls gym and for know on will be classified as a female for medicals. We dont think its healthy for girls to be exposed to a boy who thinks hes a girl in a bathroom, Johnston says. 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