And if he replies in an ugly matter, dont reply. I dont know what to do for the best. Thats not realistic. It doesnt get your guy back. I talk with women everyday who struggle to complete their No Contact Period. So all I demand is please be truthful to me. We had never argued! If he's tired of being with you, then doing no contact is your way of respecting his decision. So lets dive a little deeper into this topic. As always, remember our mantra: Let him be. Do I continue no contact for 45 days? You know, how breakups are hard on everyone involved. No stalking. Breaking up is hard on both parties. Why would be want to move so quickly with her ? We werent arguing much and I havent been able to understand his reasoning behind it. He could be trying to fill a vacuum in his life. He got defensive and said hed never marry again. I stopped contacting him, he called I received, fight, him shouting on me reminding me how he doesnt want the friendship then why I am still believing him blah blah. Please advise, Hi Anye, I would say that you are doing the right thing by going into No Contact, be sure to stick with it regardless of any interaction that may come from him during this time and be sure that you use social media to show how you are doing great and are happy. Oh, it happens. So I tried to give him space . Then in August, he called it off saying there is no future and that he cant give me one. I would just say I love you in the morning and at night . But when he got visa he didnt tell me but used to talk normally like friends. In fact, with some guys, thoughts of you may become a little obsessive. Personally, I think men like this arent very good in relationships. You will find a clever way to make sure he is following you. Both of us are divorced, and have kids. (Hey, who doesnt love a Captain American meme?). We ended on good terms, and I did a little begging on Thursday when he broke up with me but other than that I havent. But that we can be friends and see each other when none of the kids are around. So, your ex doesnt want you to be happy after he breaks your heart? So my boyfriend and I broke up a little bit less than a week ago on Thursday, and I havent texted or talked to him since Friday, implementing the no contact rule. I said u r not my friend either, he said I dont know about friendship but is remaining are still there, I said nothing is left, u made it clear to me. On 18 March we called over phone as he wanted to know when I am going to office, to end the deed and sell other office stuff, or to decide to will I do further, as he has to leave cause of his financial conditions. Well, according to studies, it generally takes about 66 days to make or break a habit or create a new routine. Opened it and stopped watching my stories after I sent it . After we split within two weeks he started dating someone else who he is still with. Maybe you can address this scenario. If hes tired of being with you, then doing no contact is your way of respecting his decision. We never fought in our relationship. You have control over the attitude you embrace each and every day. Learn how your comment data is processed. I was wrong. If you stay strong with no contact, the odds are in your favor that your ex will reach out in time. He left for 3 days, then returned to make things better. Question What if he comes to your house during no contact? Lets just hang out. But I do know that hes mad per things hes posting online geared towards me. He said, so youre never going to talk to me again? Much of this post will also focus on solutions. Do you remember what I said the main purpose of the no contact rule was? My 2.3 year relationship ended and my ex was facebook official with someone else within 2 weeks. I hope I can help you gain some perspective. That was end of Sept 2019. He was livid as he said it was unexpected. Sometimes it is up to you to reach out and form that emotional attachment. In all, there are 3 legitimate reasons that come to mind. I said then u were you being nice all these days he says it was cause if your mother she home now. What if he gets angry because Im having fun?. Well, just because a man is stubborn and wont contact you doesnt mean that he doesnt miss you it just means what we all already know, hes an idiot :p . Or maybe, you broke up with him for all the right reasons. Hi Emily a lot of members in our Facebook group have the same worries about reaching out to their ex, however, you will make no progress if you are not willing to make the first move. They will sit around and say, Hes going to have to text ME first if he wants a date with me.. Thats just his way to get you to text him. Required fields are marked *. He asks favors and of course you do them wholeheartedly. I know that was an incredibly weird picture for me to paint right now but the point I am trying to make here is that your ex boyfriend knows that deep down HIS silence will hurt you and its his only way of getting back at you without actually seeming crazy. I replied the next morning saying I enjoyed it too and said have a good day. What do I do ? What else have I done now? Hes very stubborn. This is something I have talked about numerous times throughout this site so it only makes sense that I talk about it again here. Is he hating me more? Chris gives you lots of examples in his books and guides. He got angry on it n said ok. Has he moved on ? Told him the other guy means nothing and stopped talking to the other guy . The No Contact Rule facilitates the process of you letting him go. Dont confuse him. Did he even care?. What if he never reaches out, are you going to continue spending your time waiting to hear from him? It has saved my life. So, when he gets angry during no contact, what do you do? I want you to close your eyes and imagine something with me for a moment. I tried to reconcile with no avail. He gave it, three months we were happily talking. I have already defined what the no contact rule is in the opening paragraph of this guide but I havent really talked about what the purpose of it is. Im just now starting the no contact rule. His choice to take this direction is rarely because you implemented the no contact rule. Do you continue to explain why youre ignoring him? Or is there still a chance? You wont leave him wondering what youve been up to. The grass is greener syndrome can run deep in the minds of a lot of ex boyfriends. There is a certain degree of trial and error in all of our relationship decisions. I know! I love what I do. Remember, youre not doing anything bad. I just feel like it gives people false hope to say Dont worry! Read the articles about your first reach out text. Conversely,. For some reason every time I think of this example I think of your ex boyfriend just sitting in a dark room chanting: Ill show her Ill show her Ill show her.. Hey Melissa, so you are doing No Contact right giving that you are not reaching out to him and hopefully not viewing his posts if he does post to SC. Other than that, great relationship! In one respect, things are not awful, but they are not the way they were before. Because youve broken up. Honestly, it could but, you have more leverage if you use the no contact rule once he pursues her. First, relax. My bf and I were together over 6 years. I feel that women often have an advantage over men because women are constantly talking to other women about their feelings. The no contact rule was born from this type of thinking. I think he was afraid to hurt me , yet thats all hes been doing. Well, one thing that you can automatically assume is that a guy who doesnt contact you during the no contact period always has a bit of stubbornness to him. Does it mean anything that he doesnt view my stories now?? Let him cycle through his anger and other feelings. But ask yourself, didnt you already lose him when he broke up with you?. No, no, no! Anger has a way of fusing out after some time. He did not tell me how he felt and would bottle it up until he couldnt take it anymore and broke up with me. The longer and closer the relationship, the harder it is for the love connection to be completely lost. It was a Friday night he was going hunting in the morning . Granted, if you cheated on your guy then he is the victim but even in cases where there was no cheating the sheer fact that he had to break up with you is going to make him feel like the victim. We lived together and got along very well. Also, dont attack any potential woman you see or hear that he is flirting with. It might take 45 days. One of the most asked questions I get from coaching clients is to explain the reasoning behind a man who doesnt contact you during the no contact period. Yep, that is a lot to take in. Ok, he called I didnt respond, since his last call on 18 feb I didnt respond him until 1 March. I know the very thought of implementing such a tactic can be really frightening for some people. Its as much for you as it is for the guy to learn, recovery, and come to appreciate your value. People have a tendency to only remember the bad stuff about the relationships towards the end. He may discover what he actually was experiencing before when he said he was tired of you, was just the normal up and down of relationship. N he hopes one day I will realised why he got reserved from me when he was all open to me once. So sometimes, whether or not you are in the no contact rule, your guy may look for a way to be with her. In other words, the how part of him getting back at you?. My ex has a pattern of exactly 3 weeks after he breaks up with me to come back. And while your ex's feelings toward you . Well, like I explained above. Time will tell how he really feels about things. I didnt respond at all. He was still a bit all over the place in his thoughts and said he needed to think about things. You cant control how your ex feels. I did my best that Id take care of everything and it would not affect him. I did follow the rules and I lost them anyway. He been calling and shouting for three days, I been responding but he is increasinngly rude. To understand the true purpose of NC one must first look at the bigger picture of getting an ex boyfriend back (if you need the big picture check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.). It will help in making him value you more and miss you. But whatever you decide, dont put your life on hold hoping he will come back into your life. N few days later he called off the friendship too, he said now there is no friendship between us, at this point I lost it, n shouted back, what m I to you? The fights were over him treating me awful ! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. This way he can test the water and then say oh I thought we broke up. Dont tell him youre going to ignore him for a specific amount of days. She said no. Even he didnt share with me his new contact number. I didnt respond. I have been reading many articles on the No Contact Rule and I just do not know if it is the right thing to do for me and my situation so I was hoping to get some advice.. One month ago, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. It might even take a a year or even a couple of years in very extreme cases. Later he said I said that because you told such sensitive thing to my mother. You get to control when the conversation is started and assuming you play your cards right when it will end. What we are going to be getting into now is the actual ignoring part. What about then? Seriously, they will sit around and cry because he didn't call or text. If he chose to pursue a rebound relationship, thats a reflection of his character. So I gave him one last hug, and said I hope your happy. For one thing, its too fast for him to move on right away, particularly straight into the arms of another. He made frequent, offensive references to my stinginess (having essentially lived off me for over 6 months), became aloof, coming at late hours at night. But he doesnt view my stories he ignored my dad . He may still be angry with you or terribly hurt. I accepted that . I guess the main point I am trying to make here is that if you manage your expectations you will be much better off. You have a lot of healing and personal discoveries you need to accomplish. For example, I remember when I was younger and a girl I was falling for wouldnt respond to my texts I logged on to Facebook and looked at her profile to see if she was online. I didnt do anything. Then when i met him to hear him out, he was finally ready to be back with me the way we were. Before I say anything else I just want to throw that out there. You know, he might seem like he doesnt care. While your expectations have been managed your only human and you cant help but wonder what is going on in his mind. We only share Snapchat as a mutual social media platform so no other way to be in contact. The problem Im having is . At this point in the timeline your ex will wonder why you haven't reached out to them and why you haven't tried to get them back. But I see this backfire a lot. U wanted to be free u r free. He has stopped calling me but asked my friend two days back. This candlelit dinner had seemed to be to signal things were on the upswing. etc. That is life! Think about what you have to gain. Let him have his fun. This little tug to regain his freedom will likely start first in his unconscious mind, but soon it will work its way to his conscious thinking. It could be that they want to keep tabs on you, or they're hoping to get back together with you one day. In fact, I recently filmed a video about just that. But there are lots of things you can do to keep him thinking about you in the back of mind. I am afraid that I will lose him, instead of trying to get with him to discuss the solutions on how we can improve our relationship?, He will think that I gave up and decided to move on to another guy., What if he moves on to another girl during the No Contact Period?. So, even if you are not right in front of him, remember, you will often be on his mind. That he is still with certain degree of trial and error in all our... He asks favors and of course you do may become a little deeper into topic... 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